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With dating apps being the main source of scheduling dates, hook-ups or flings, are millennials no longer letting fate play a role in the equation?In our ever so meticulously calculated and planned lives do we even want room for chance?
If we can control all the variables of our potential romances, can you even really call it romance? The survey defined fate as success determined by factors outside our control. It seems harder and harder to find a spark or a momentary connection when every romantic encounter feels so calculated or convoluted.Instead, Alex and I had been messaging for a week prior, I had asked my serial dater friends for their favorite spots, planned a backup spot in case the first location was a bust and chose one of my planned date night outfits. Three hours of stimulating conversation, delicious cocktails, casual flirtation, witty jokes, with the dimly lit Jack’s Wife Freda as our romantic backdrop, I would say all the controlled variables were put in place to achieve the necessary results. We parted ways at midnight, at the 4th Street subway with an awkward hug goodbye and a “let’s keep in touch.” I left wanting a second date to see if different controlled variables would provide better results.It quickly became apparent, that I was more invested in creating the perfect date than in the person on the date.Whatever happened to somehow being in the right place, at the right time, with the right person, all just by chance?Letting serendipity take the wheel and allowing yourself to be surprised seems so foreign.
My friend’s boyfriend introduced me to his friend, Manuel, a Colombian surfer dude, and in that moment everything seemed to work. The Colombian surfer dude connection was a short lived fling but it was a good lesson in letting chance take the wheel.